Thursday, July 9, 2015

A Fluffernutter-Ironholds IRC Fragment, 2011

Fluffernutter is Karen Ingraffea of IBM; she documented the work done to make the "Watson" AI machine. Ironholds is Oliver Keyes, who was a British university student at the time. This 18 minute fragment has been floating around the Internet for years, and it is possible this was typed at the Wikimania 2011 conference in Haifa, Israel (Keyes mentions a "dull presentation.") What is known is that Fluffernutter later married Courcelles (allegedly "Bradford James Brown" or "Bradley Marshall Brown") in 2013. Mr. Brown appears here as "tyw7."

19:57:22 < tyw7> Ironholds: I think Fluffernutter_ is currently afk
19:57:27 < tyw7> see Fluff|laptop instead
19:57:49 < Ironholds> tyw7: she's sitting next to me and I just slapped her arse
19:57:51 < Fluff|laptop> yeah, he's talking to the wrong me
19:57:51 < Ironholds> trust me, I know
19:57:57 < Fluff|laptop> no he didn't
19:58:00 < Fluff|laptop> he has terrible aim
19:58:03 < Fluff|laptop> he poked me in the hip
19:58:12 < Fluff|laptop> and now he just pinched my ass
19:58:19 < Peter-C> O_O
19:59:11 < Fluff|laptop> you'd think he'd have figured hiow to slap asses by now, but nooo
19:59:51 < tyw7> why is he slapping your ass?
20:00:00 < Ironholds> tyw7: we're fucking
20:00:02 < Fluff|laptop> why not? we DID say we're bored
20:00:06 < tyw7> O_o
20:00:12 < Ironholds> I mean, we're not fucking right now
20:00:15 < tyw7> Ironholds: you are fucking Fluff|laptop
20:00:16 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds, see, no one believes you when you say that
20:00:17 < Ironholds> but as a general principle, we fuck
20:00:24 < Ironholds> tyw7: jeremyb didn't believe me either
20:00:29 < Ironholds> and we kissed in front of him and everythign
20:00:30 < Fluff|laptop> jeremyb practically rolled his eyes
20:00:33 < tyw7> you two are married?
20:00:37 < Fluff|laptop> baahaha
20:00:37 < Ironholds> tyw7: no, we just fuck
20:00:51 < Fluff|laptop> marry me, darling. we can drive each other insane for eternity
20:00:54 < tyw7> what would your wives/husband say? or are you single?
20:01:02 < Fluff|laptop> we're single
20:01:05 < Logan_> omai
20:01:19 < Ironholds> tyw7: dude, I'm TWENTY
20:01:22 < Fluff|laptop> haha
20:01:23 < Ironholds> I'm not married
20:01:27 Resfirestar is now known as res|starcraft
20:01:34 < Fluff|laptop> he's not married, he's just a babydaddy
20:01:39 < tyw7> Ironholds: really? I'm 18!
20:01:46 < tyw7> how old are you Fluff|laptop
20:01:49 < Ironholds> tyw7: well, nobody's perfect
20:01:50  * Fluff|laptop grins
20:01:52  * Courcelles never knows what is erious in this channel.  Ever.
20:01:58 < Logan_> erious?
20:02:00  * Fluff|laptop is far too old to be sleeping with Ironholds, let's just say
20:02:39 < Ironholds> Courcelles: we are actually being serious
20:02:47 < Ironholds> oh dear GOD THIS PRESENTATION IS DULL
20:02:53 < Ironholds> fuck this, I'm going for a smoke
20:02:56 < ^3^> You could leave?
20:02:59 < ^3^> Oh, nvm
20:03:06 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds: do you think it will move them along if i make a show of falling asleep on your shoulder?
20:03:10 < Logan_> Ironholds: I thought you quit
20:03:16 < Ironholds> Logan_: quit what?
20:03:19 < Logan_> smoking
20:03:25 < Ironholds> Fluff|laptop: try going BOOOO! GET OFF THE STAGE!
20:03:29 < Peter-C> OMG Ironholds and Fluff|laptop need to get an apartment >:(
20:03:34  * Fluff|laptop looks shifty, suddenly decides she's a smoker if it means i can get out of here for ten minutes
20:03:36 < ^3^> Or a motel.
20:03:36 < Ironholds> Logan_: then I applied for a WMF job and tripled my stress levels
20:03:40 < Logan_> heh.
20:03:41 < Ironholds> Peter-C: we've GOT one. It's hers.
20:03:44 < Fluff|laptop> ^
20:03:49 < Peter-C> :O
20:03:50 < Fluff|laptop> brb
20:03:59 < Peter-C> Fluff|laptop has the dominant role in this relationship
20:04:09 < Logan_> you could have the marriage at the WMF headquarters
20:04:30 < tyw7> Ironholds: are you typing while in the meeting?
20:04:34 < tyw7> Say hi to Jimbo for me
20:04:35 < Peter-C> Logan_ - Jimbo could be the priest!
20:04:39 < Logan_> haha
20:04:52 < Nascar1996> ...
20:05:00 < Logan_> I declare you WikiHusband and WikiWife.
20:06:40 < tyw7> Ironholds: say hi to all the wikipedians for me ;)
20:10:26 < Ironholds> back
20:10:29 < Fluff|laptop> Peter-C: oh, if only you knew
20:10:37 < Fluff|laptop> Ironholds: we should photograph my bruises
20:10:41 < tyw7> Ironholds: who else is there at the meeting?
20:10:49 < tyw7> Fluff|laptop: and make it public domain?
20:10:51 < Fluff|laptop> lol
20:11:02 < Fluff|laptop> i have a rather spectacular one on my forearm
20:11:29 < NA_0> Bruises? What did I miss?
20:11:40 < tyw7> NA_0: Ironholds pinching and slapping Fluff|laptop
20:11:41 < Fluff|laptop> <_<
20:11:49 < Fluff|laptop> there's been very little pinching
20:12:11 < Fluff|laptop> or slapping, for that matter
20:12:29 < tyw7> and romping... :D
20:13:05 < Ironholds> romping, lots of that
20:13:08 < Fluff|laptop> hee
20:13:10 < Ironholds> Fluffernutter looks like she has hypothermia
20:13:16 < Fluff|laptop> ...?
20:13:37 < Ironholds> all blue
20:13:46 < Fluff|laptop> most of them are yellow and purple at this point
20:13:50 < Fluff|laptop> you've fallen behind
20:13:58 < tyw7> how can you romp in a Wikipedian meeting?
20:14:17 < Fluff|laptop> tyw7: you don't want to know what he just suggested to me in pm
20:14:36  * tyw7 fluffs Fluff|laptop
20:14:43 < Fluff|laptop> ew
20:14:46 < Fluff|laptop> hands off
20:15:05 < Ironholds> tyw7: blowjob in the stairwell
20:15:13 < Fluff|laptop> i said he didn't want to know, dude
20:15:24 < tyw7> lol O_o
20:15:27 < p858snake|l_> ironholds has alot of experience in that dept >.>
20:15:43 < Fluff|laptop> the stairwell is very creaky
20:15:56 < Peter-C> p858snake|l_ - giving or reciving?
20:16:08 < Fluff|laptop> also i kissed him on our way up the stairs and he was all "omg why are you touching me ew"
20:16:48 < p858snake|l_> Peter-C: I don't think it matters when you are talking about Ironholds <.<
20:16:53 < Fluff|laptop> lol
20:16:55 < Fluff|laptop> so true


4 comments:

  1. The Internet is indeed run by middle-school kids.

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    Replies
    1. In America; elsewhere it is run by all sorts of authoritarians, or not at all.

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  2. God, but that is alternately mind-numbingly boring and (since I quite like Ironholds) rather sweet. I'm just wondering why you saw fit to repost this. I mean, people get bored at conferences and they engage in small talk on IRC. And...?

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    Replies
    1. Why repost it? Because we can, before it's deleted (or accidentally lost) like so much of Wikipedia's history from 2001 to 2006.

      Delete